.ㅡ.

I know it’s been a while since I wrote anything here, since the beginning of last year, although if you have been following my social media accounts and other parts of this site you would probably understand why. So let me just say this, 2019 was one of the worst years of my life; partially for obvious reasons, partially for super personal reasons, and partially due to the sudden realization that I can’t keep living the way that I had been. Not that I would want to, or that I had been doing so by choice. Its as if I was in a river going with the flow (which was a pretty bad idea) the river get more dangerous, but then became blocked directly in front of me, suddenly I find myself being crushed by anything and everything that comes up, or had been following me and the river is backing up and putting more pressure than I can handle on me. This can pretty much only end in three ways, the first which would be the easiest and the most unlikely would be for for the damn to break; this isn’t going to happen. the second is me having the life crushed out of me by the pressure (the way we’re headed); and third is to try to get out of the stream altogether, to relocate, to make a change to survive.